If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
