Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
