Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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