i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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