Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
