I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
