Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
