All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
