We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
