We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
nutella sex= disaster
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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