She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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