Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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