i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
how drunk are you?
Several
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
