You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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