We need to rekindle our bromance
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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