my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
