She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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