I want to have your abortion
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize