So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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