She said her name was "party"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
