How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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