If that was your dad, he is hot
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"