Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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