she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?