Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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