Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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