Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize