we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
