Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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