I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
