I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They took my balls.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
