Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
