Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
