What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
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A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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