oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
