your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
