Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
