just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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