she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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