did you get engaged???
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
