Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
