Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
