He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I could fuck to npr.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
