my phone needs a breathalizer
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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