when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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