i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
