I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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