Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize