did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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