WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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