I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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