This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize