He had one of those small greek statue penises
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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